Valentine’s Day Candy

love2eatinpa, 15 February 2010, 19 comments
Categories: Dealing with Holidays
Tags: , , ,

I was in an emotional whirlwind of emotions Valentine’s Day morning.

I had asked my husband to buy just a couple of one of my favorite things – dark chocolate covered oreos. I strongly urged to please just get a few, so that I could have a treat, but not be tempted by them if there are too many.

So my dear, sweet husband, who took my 7-yr old son shopping with him for the treats, decided to not only buy 10 of the oreos, but also my second fav, 4 dark chocolate covered graham crackers.

Slooooooow, deep breath!

So I thanked him and told him how I appreciate the treats, but then asked him why he bought so much for me. He said he wanted to give me a selection. I wanted to frickin smack him upside the head!

While I totally apprectiated the sweet gesture, my normally very supportive-of-my-ED husband, in effect did the equivalent of giving two bottles of alcohol to a recovering alchoholic!

My first thoughts were – holy crap, this is going to be so challenging! How am I going to deal with this? My husband said he knew he got a lot, but that he promised my son some and that I could share them.

So then I thought to myself – share? share my special treats? are you serious?!? Compulsive eaters don’t share treats; we hoard, hide and sneak them for ourselves!

Slooooow, deep breath!

I let the sharing idea sink in a little to my 2-yr binge-free-recovering mind and then thought, yes, I can share these treats. I also decided to eat them yesterday in place of my normal snacks so I could eat a lot of them, but it would be in replacement of my other routine snacks, not in addition to them, so that I could stay in my calorie range.

I also decided to eat them only when I was hungry, that way I would enjoy them even more. I know from too many years of bingeing, that well, the food doesn’t taste as good the more you keep shoveling it in. I have learned from reading and experience that if I eat them when I’m hungry, I will enjoy them that much more.

So yesterday was indeed a happy Valentine’s Day. I got cards from my husband and kids and managed to work into my day 5 of the oreos and 2 of the graham crackers. Yes folks, this compulsive eater of 30+ years shared half of my chocolate treats and lived to tell about it! I have come so far and am really proud of myself. I savored and enjoyed every delectable bite and had not one moment of regret.

(Ok, not the most nutritionally balanced day, but I made sure my breakfast, lunch and dinner were all very healthy.)

It was also nice to know that while the gesture seemed crazy at the onset, I feel now that my husband bought all the booty not to sabotage me, but because he knew that I could eat them “properly” and not have it lead to a binge. I feel good that he felt that way and I feel even BETTER that I proved him right. =)

How did your Valentine’s Day candy challenges go?

One Day at a Time... Nurture myself... Awareness... Letting Go... Listen to my Body

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Comments

19 Responses, Leave a Reply
  1. Michelle@Eatingjourney
    15 February 2010, 7:09 pm

    good work. you’re making heaps of progress.

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    thanks, michelle, i’m really trying!

    [Reply]

  2. Diana
    15 February 2010, 7:32 pm

    That’s a great accomplishment 🙂 Good job!
    .-= Diana´s last blog ..Weekly Goals =-.

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    thank you, diana!

    [Reply]

  3. Jill
    15 February 2010, 8:27 pm

    I got a box of chocolates from my fiance, and I am limiting myself to one or two pieces a day until they are gone. 🙂

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    wow, that is impressive! do you bite a piece off to see what is inside first, or does your box have the diagram to tell you what is what? =)

    [Reply]

  4. Jill
    15 February 2010, 9:28 pm

    My box doesn’t have the diagram so I let my fiance pick the first piece…(his was a chocolate covered cherry which I don’t really like and I picked chocolate w/ orange filling which he hates), but every other piece I’m eating regardless of the flavor.

    [Reply]

  5. Jody - Fit at 52
    15 February 2010, 10:04 pm

    Small baby steps…. big results! Congrats!
    .-= Jody – Fit at 52´s last blog ..Acceptance Has Different Forms =-.

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    aw, thanks, jody! it feels good.

    [Reply]

  6. Patsy
    16 February 2010, 4:53 am

    Eating disorders are SO weird… I can’t think of a single compulsive binge that I’ve actually enjoyed… It was more a case of ramming down as much food as I could in the shortest time possible… I’m trying to adopt a different approach now – on the rare occasions I allow myself treats (I have to be careful because I have PCOS and the related insulin resistence) I have a little of the chosen treat and eat it very s-l-o-w-l-y… I can’t believe how much more I enjoy and appreciate it!

    Keep up the good work. :o)
    .-= Patsy´s last blog ..Making Changes! =-.

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    i know, i know, it’s so true, patsy! and what’s crazy is that even in the middle of a frantic binge, we knew the food didn’t taste as good but we still kept shoveling it down. it’s so great to have that awareness, now, isn’t it?

    [Reply]

  7. MizFit
    16 February 2010, 6:08 am

    DAMN WOMAN.
    bigbigbig healthy strides!!

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    thanks, carla, i really feel quite proud of myself. =) it’s been a long road to get to this point.

    [Reply]

  8. Anonymous Fat Girl
    16 February 2010, 12:02 pm

    I’m so proud of you for staying in control! That must have been hard.

    My husband is like that sometimes too. It’s almost like he thinks too much. LOL Glad you had a great Valentine’s day!
    .-= Anonymous Fat Girl´s last blog ..Scared to go to the gym because you are either obese, overweight or fat? =-.

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    thanks! i was totally ready to throttle him until i steadied myself and realized that i truly could handle it. i hope you had a nice V-day!

    [Reply]

  9. Sagan
    17 February 2010, 5:51 pm

    That’s awesome. I have such difficulty in sharing my food… it’s great when we can take a good look at the situation and not let IT control US.
    .-= Sagan´s last blog ..The Living Healthy in the Real World Guide to Grocery Shopping, Part Two: Building the Basics =-.

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    glad i’m not the only one who has trouble with sharing food =). that in and of itself was huge for me, cuz as i said, my first inclination is to hoard for myself. and yes, it felt great to not let the situation control me as it has often done way too many times in the past.

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  10. Jess
    17 February 2010, 5:54 pm

    Lol!

    Yeah, my husband is sometimes so thoughtfully sweet I want to smack him upside the head, too, for forgetting that getting me too much of a good thing is a bad thing. However, that’s when I whip out my, “You get to share,” stern voice and make him eat some too. And the kid.

    Our Valentine’s Day was a day of frustration for my husband, who tried to make it perfect despite the fates conspiring against him. And any other year, I would have completely gone monkeynuts that it wasn’t perfect–so he has pretty good reason to worry about it. But I was calm this year.

    See, Valentine’s Day just became a day for retailers to sell a bunch of stuff covered in red hearts. Now, I will admit I got binge-craving slammed when I walked past the heart-shaped boxes of chocolates. I can smell the darned chocolate, that pervading odor that seeps into the cardboard of every box! Those displays were like pitcher plants to a bug, and I freaked out (forgetting that Valentine’s Day is all about the chocolate coating). So, yes, if you saw a woman actually covering and averting her eyes from the giant pound-of-chocolates heart box display in a CVS Pharmacy last week, it was possibly me. Oh, and darting away because the smell is cartoonish in that it’s like a hand that beckons me closer to its source, only to get a smackdown.

    So, my husband was upset because my Valentine’s Day wasn’t me being spoiled rotten and having dinner cooked by him (despite being asked a bajillion times how to make X or Y). Instead I took care of most of dinner, which was not awful but not amazing.

    I think the most important part is that I understood the point was to be together, and we were for a lot of it. He let me do my thing (edit my chick lit books for e-publication) and when I was needed, I got to come in and save the day (sorta). So even though he tells it differently, my V-Day was pretty good.

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    lol! i can totally picture that cartoon hand of the delicious scent beckoning with the chocolate. definitely been there, done that!
    as we are learning and growing, i think we sometimes forget that our families have to make adjustments too. it’s easy to get lost in our own journeys. your husband (and mine too, though he’s typically pretty good cuz it’s been over two years now) needs time to get used to this new you who isn’t so focused on the food anymore, especially on food-centered holidays. give him some time =).

    [Reply]

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