The Day after our Holiday Party

Warning, there are graphic descriptions of decadent food, so beware!


So I went into the party with the mindset that no foods were forbidden and that it would be ok if I indulged a bit in the desserts.  I tried to allow myself that freedom and not be so restrictive.  I spoke to my husband about it.  It was new territory for both of us.  I was set to be kind to myself knowing that one night of indulging in desserts was not going to really make a huge difference in the big picture, that I would get right back on track with my healthy, planned eating the next day.  This would be one special night of enjoyment, if there was something worth enjoying.


As expected, I did totally fine, even better than planned, with the appetizers and main course.  I did not however, employ the strategies my therapist suggested, but I will blame that on being too busy as hostess. : )  The strategies are more for when I’m a guest at a party.


For the desserts, there were some yummy things that people brought, but there was one particular thing – a chocolate fudge cake from a bakery that was just amazing.  A friend baked her famous, decadent, chocolate chip brownies, but after having them, they didn’t even compare to this cake.  And let me specify, it wasn’t the cake per say that was so good, it was the fudge icing coated in mini chocolate chips.  It was just to die for.  For me, there was nothing else on the dessert table that even compared.  So I, in front of everyone, would walk by with a spoon and scoop up all the fallen chips and enjoyed them.  I did that a few times while the party was in full swing.  No big deal.


By the time most everyone was gone and I was cleaning up, there was less than ¼ of the cake left.  Because the frosting was so heavy, the cake actually fell backwards.  When I tried to straighten it, it was a mess.  It was not something my husband could take to work the next day (to let his fellow employees enjoy), and at the same time it wasn’t something that I wanted to keep in the house. So I told my husband, who was doing the dishes with his back turned, that I was going to enjoy some of the frosting.  He asked if he should take it away from me (he’s such a good man!) but I told him no, that I really wanted to eat this.  So I took a spoon and ended up enjoying a lot of the frosting before putting the rest in the sink.


So here is the takeaway of this experience, the good and bad.  First the bad:


Compulsive behaviors: 


Normal behaviors: 







In the final tally, it looks like it was much more a positive experience than a negative one.  I’m feeling good about it. I realize that as a compulsive eater that what I did was very dangerous, but at the same time, I took a leap of faith that I could indulge in sweets and not have it spiral into a week/month/year–long binge.  I did something that people who have a normal relationship with food do — I over-ate one night and then went back to my regular eating pattern today.

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4 Responses, Leave a Reply
  1. Jess
    14 December 2009, 11:07 pm

    I love that your abstinence allowed you to enjoy the party. We had a reading tonight in my OA about “acting as if” in terms of abstinence and eating like a normal person. Taking the power out of the compulsion by exposing eating habits within the day’s plan lets us understand the nature of our eating. That you said to yourself, “Today’s plan includes this” and exposed your potentially compulsive eating when you saw and felt those behaviors starting was very powerful.

    Sounds like an awesome party!


    love2eatinpa Reply:

    it’s so funny that you read that at your meeting and you applied that to me. things always happen in this universe for a reason, huh?
    i appreciate your support and you showing me how oa supports it too. still, it’s one day, one party at a time.


  2. Lara
    15 December 2009, 10:47 am

    Great job! I have also found that giving myself permission to enjoy whatever I want enables me to eat much more rationally and not binge. It is when I tell myself I need to be “good” and not eat x, y, z when all heck breaks lose. I also tend to eat in secret and find that announcing what I am doing to my husband is very helpful and that way doesn’t feel “sneaky” which often leads to feeling of guilt/shame, etc which leads to more eating.


    love2eatinpa Reply:

    thank you so much! i’m glad to hear that it works for you, that this new type of thinking is do-able.


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