My New Way of Eating Tested at Two Events

So I blathered on the other day about how on Saturday 3/27 I tried my first day at intuitive eating. It just so happened that was the same day as my nephew’s 3rd birthday party.

Typically, going to my sister-in-laws house for any event fills me with anxiety. For some reason, I was still holding onto the calmness and I had no anxiety. It felt great. While there, I totally engaged in conversation and was not obsessed with the food. A miracle!

I do have to mention, that it wasn’t the usual smorgasboard of desserts and sitting at a table with food in front of me, but it was in fact an outing and there was of course food that I could have gotten into had a really wanted it.

But the amazing part is that I didn’t want it and I didn’t have it. I truly enjoyed the conversations I had with people. I amazed myself.

So to keep things chronological, I told you all about my trip, so you know how that went. Well, two days after we returned, we went to a combination Passover/birthday dinner for my son and nephew at the same sister-in-law’s house.

Once again, my mindset going in was not one of anxiety, which, again, was such a great feeling. This gathering entailed sitting at a table with all the dinner food and then later, dessert food, in front of me. I was not counting calories, but ate sensibly. Did I pick a little bit at the chicken and then at some of the dessert? Yes, I did. But it was not in the “forbidden” way, it was the “I’m just eating like a normal person would” way, if that makes any sense.

I again engaged in conversations instead of obsessing over the food. With this new mindset I’m embracing, I didn’t make any of the food forbidden. I just ate it like it was no big deal. The food was not controlling me. I consciously chose to have it.  There was no planning, obsessing, plotting and over-thinking. There were no regrets and I know I did not overeat. It was quite empowering and I felt kinda “normal.”

Since I won’t be getting on the scale until the 16th, I won’t know how all this is going. Yes, my clothes seem to be fitting fine so far, but it hasn’t been two weeks yet and I do need to admit, I will feel better once I check in on the scale and hopefully see that little or nothing has changed.

I’ve told myself that if not weighing/measuring food and not writing down my calories has me gaining too much weight, then I will go back to my old ways. For now though, I remain positive that I have made a really great leap, I’m trusting my instincts, I’ve banished all or most of my old demons that caused the compulsive overeating over three decades ago, and basically, I’m giving it my best shot.

I want to enjoy food, but not be a slave to it. I am slowly changing the way I used to describe myself – I used to say that “I lived to eat”, but now I’m starting to feel more like “I eat to live.”

Which do you feel like you are doing – “living to eat” or “eating to live”?

One Day at a Time... Nurture myself... Awareness... Letting Go... Listen to my Body

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Comments

21 Responses, Leave a Reply
  1. Julie - Big Girl Bombshell
    06 April 2010, 9:44 pm

    I feel like I am slowly, very slowly, stepping over that fine line from living to eat…to…eating to live…It’s a s.l.o.w. process but I have to say your many, many posts..your own and your guest posts have me looking at things a bit no a lot more clearly!
    .-= Julie – Big Girl Bombshell´s last blog ..Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall =-.

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    good for you, julie! recovery is a slow process. i’m so happy that somehow my posts are helping you.

    [Reply]

  2. Lisa
    06 April 2010, 9:54 pm

    Great job!! Congratulations on all your progress with intuitive eating so far 🙂
    .-= Lisa´s last blog ..Oh my… =-.

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    thanks, lisa!

    [Reply]

  3. Ameena
    06 April 2010, 10:45 pm

    I feel like I am eating to live which is progress for me! I used to live to eat 6 brownie bites after dinner. Thank God I kicked that habit!

    Congrats on your great progress! Being able to go into a situation without anxiety must feel great!
    .-= Ameena´s last blog ..A Buffet of All Buffets =-.

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    congrats to you too! it’s a whole mindset change, isn’t it?

    [Reply]

  4. My Lipstick Life
    06 April 2010, 10:57 pm

    Sounds like you are doing awesome! I am doing a version of this plan too – the Weigh Down Diet principles and it has worked for me too. Hopefully I will have a loss this week! Fantastic victory!
    .-= My Lipstick Life´s last blog ..Something’s Gotta Give =-.

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    sounds like you are doing awesome as well! getting healthy is a very individual thing, not a one-size-fits all. it’s great that the weigh down is working for you!

    [Reply]

  5. Megan @ Healthy Hoggin'
    07 April 2010, 3:17 pm

    Good job on the new mindset! Sounds like you’re doing AWESOME! I totally can relate to that feeling of anxiety around events, so the fact that you did so well is a really good sign! Can’t wait to see how it goes for you. 😀

    I’m still getting over that “live to eat” mentality, but I do feel like I’m getting to a place where I “eat to live” and that’s so exciting to me!
    .-= Megan @ Healthy Hoggin’´s last blog ..Start Walking! =-.

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    thanks, megan. i continue to be a work in progress. and kudos to you for also moving to a place where you “eat to live!” it’s kind of empowering, isn’t it?

    [Reply]

  6. Jody - Fit ta 52
    07 April 2010, 4:10 pm

    How exciting! Life is for learning & you sure are doing that! I hope whatever you choose to do eventually, that you are never a slave to food & the scale again. I use both the scale & my clothes but my clothes do tell me more!

    OK, honestly, I eat to live but at times, I live to eat.. my treat days on the weekend! 🙂
    .-= Jody – Fit ta 52´s last blog ..Meet Tony – He Lost Over 200 Pounds!!! =-.

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    yup, jody, i am learning a lot. between my therapist, books and the blog world, my eyes have been opened to a lot of things. i too hope that i’m never a slave to the scale or food again.
    and psst… i think there are all certain treats that we look forward to, it just needs to not be an obsession that controls us. see, look what i’ve learned! =)

    [Reply]

  7. karen@fitnessjourney
    07 April 2010, 4:34 pm

    I don’t think I’ve ever lived to eat. I’m a pretty active person and stopping to fix meals and sit down to eat them takes time. I do like the idea of savoring your food and buying the best quality possible. When I splurge, it’s on something really fabulous like extra dark chocolate or a piece of good cheesecake. There are foods that are worth it and foods that are just junk.
    .-= karen@fitnessjourney´s last blog ..What I Learned From an Injury =-.

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    boy are you lucky you never felt that way! =) and i agree, though it took a while to get to this point, that some foods are really worth the splurge, while other food is just junk.

    [Reply]

  8. POD
    07 April 2010, 7:56 pm

    I’m a liver to eater – darn it anyway. But I’m curing myself slowing like a pickle in a jar. (see? More food!)
    .-= POD´s last blog ..Rogue’s Missing Bonnet =-.

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    lol!!!

    [Reply]

  9. […] My New Way of Eating Tested at Two Events | Confessions of a … […]

  10. Holly
    08 April 2010, 8:54 am

    That is a great question! Honestly…sometimes I feel like I eat to live, other times i feel like I live to eat. I’d say MOST of the time I just look at food as something I need to get through the day, but I do really enjoy it. My problem is not getting too caught up in it – which can lead to binges…

    This part really spoke to me: “I didn’t make any of the food forbidden. I just ate it like it was no big deal. The food was not controlling me. I consciously chose to have it.” I want so badly to get there! My parents almost always have some candy/junk laying around their house, and when I went over there the other night to hang out with my aunts and grandma who were in town, of course my mom had a big old bowl of M&M’s laying out. At first I said to myself, either have NONE or have them all! 🙂 But I had a couple of small handfuls, throughout the night – the perfect amount (for me). The trouble is that I thought about that bowl of M&M’s allll night. I hope to get to the point where I don’t let it have that power over me!

    That is a huge testament to you that you were able to have power over those foods, rather than the other way around!
    .-= Holly´s last blog ..Larabar Giveaway! =-.

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    that’s great that it’s mostly something you do to get through the day, that is where i’m getting too.

    the framing of the food, as my therapist has been telling me for months now, is really so important. it really is just food, it does not have magical powers. why assign it or frame it to have powers?

    m&m’s are one of my favs. i would have thougt the same as you – all or nothing. i would have counted how many i ate so i could write down how many calories i had. i too would have focused on them the entire night instead of engaging in conversations and enjoying the people i was with. to be honest, i’m not quite sure what i would do about it with this new mindset that i have – whether i would move them away from me and have none, or just take portion and tell myself having more is not an option. it would not be an option to keep reaching my hand in over and over again as i have done SO many times in the past. i think you handled it very well eating-wise, but i’m sure it would have been nice to not have focused on them the entire time. i know how that sucks.

    [Reply]

  11. Amy
    18 April 2010, 11:49 pm

    That is a great question! Honestly…sometimes I feel like I eat to live, other times i feel like I live to eat. I’d say MOST of the time I just look at food as something I need to get through the day, but I do really enjoy it. My problem is not getting too caught up in it – which can lead to binges…

    This part really spoke to me: “I didn’t make any of the food forbidden. I just ate it like it was no big deal. The food was not controlling me. I consciously chose to have it.” I want so badly to get there! My parents almost always have some candy/junk laying around their house, and when I went over there the other night to hang out with my aunts and grandma who were in town, of course my mom had a big old bowl of M&M’s laying out. At first I said to myself, either have NONE or have them all! 🙂 But I had a couple of small handfuls, throughout the night – the perfect amount (for me). The trouble is that I thought about that bowl of M&M’s allll night. I hope to get to the point where I don’t let it have that power over me!

    That is a huge testament to you that you were able to have power over those foods, rather than the other way around!
    .-= Holly´s last blog ..Larabar Giveaway! =-.

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    i have lived that same m&m scenario MANY times. it was all i could think about the entire time. it’s an all or nothing thing, so i really applaud that you were able to take just a few handfuls, that is an accomplishment!

    really, taking the label of “forbidden” or “bad” foods, just that change in mindset, has made such a huge difference. you always really want what you think you shouldn’t have, right?

    [Reply]

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