Less Than Two Weeks Until Halloween…

What used to be one of my favorite times of the year is coming up – Halloween.  While it is really fun to take your kids trick or treating , to see and enjoy the holiday through their eyes, it is also fun to hold their candy bags for them (which of course always get too heavy for them to carry halfway through your trek around the neighborhood) and be able to take and munch on your favorite treats. 

It’s so easy to justify that you are doing so much walking, surely you must be burning off the calories from eating X amount of candy bars, right?  Then you have all that candy sitting at home – the stuff your kids collected, plus the stuff that you gave out to trick-or-treaters.  Talk about a nightmare for a compulsive overeater!

If that wasn’t bad enough, in an attempt to make things even more fun and memorable for the kids this year, last weekend I decided to bake a pumpkin pie with them and to roast the pumpkin seeds we scooped out of the pumpkins we carved.  While it is a good thing the pie came out tasty, now it is sitting on the counter beckoning to me, along with the different flavored seeds we roasted.  

If I could just grab a few seeds or cut myself a small sliver of pie and be happy, all would be well with the world.  But of course that is not the case with me.  The sickness in me rears it’s ugly head and has me going back for more.  Though I count the calories as best I can, work them into my day and at the end of the day it all works out fine, it’s this crazy compulsive, addictive behavior of mine that I wish I didn’t have to deal with.  It would be so easy to just devour all the baked goods and subsequent candy that will be all over our house soon, but I have to stay in control.  I need to reach another monthly milestone of remaining binge-free, abstinent.  It’s just not worth it, to break all my hard work and start over again.   The delicious taste of the food for the 30 seconds it takes to scarf it down, isn’t worth all the digust and fullness I feel afterwards.  I don’t ever want to go there again, but it’s hard.  Every day is a challenge, halloween season or not.

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4 Responses, Leave a Reply
  1. innerpilgrimage
    25 October 2009, 8:49 pm


    Yeah, Love2eatinPA, I totally know what you’re talking about. This is the first year I haven’t pre-noshed the Halloween candy (requiring a new bag or two to be purchased either on Halloween or on Halloween Eve). I plan to go out in my costume to get it. This year I am Velma from Scooby Doo. Looking forward to dressing up and going to the store in costume this coming Saturday.

    Because of OA, this is also going to be the first year I won’t cull the chocolate from trick or treat buckets or bags. I doled out the candy two or three pieces at a time until they forgot while I sit and eat 5 or 10 mini chocolate bars at a time, the bucket on my lap, hugged tight to my stomach. I ate until I was queasy, stealing the candy bars from my own trusting kids.

    I am a big fan of noshing those home-roasted pumpkin seeds, myself, though I have only once made pumpkin pie from scratch and it turned out horribly. I completely empathize; you have described the last fifteen or so Halloweens of my life.

    This one will be different. Thank you for writing this, because I probably wouldn’t have readied myself for Halloween and the subsequent holiday season without being reminded about years past.


    love2eatinpa Reply:

    hi! thanks so much for writing. i’m so happy i could help in some small way. though this compulsion sucks, it’s so nice to be able to talk to other people about it, because unless you are going through it, you can’t understand. how i wish i had a normal relationship with food and didn’t understand!!!! best of luck this weekend! i’d love to hear how you made out. we can compare war stories. [?]


  2. Laurie
    19 March 2010, 1:21 pm

    Oh gawd, Halloween, Easter, Christmas, they are all so terrifying, yet at the same time, exciting. I feel like I have an ‘excuse’ to overeat.
    “Everyone is doing it”
    “I only get these specific treats once a year”
    “It will hurt my Mom’s feelings if I don’t eat the wonderful stuff she cooked and baked for me and the kids”
    “If I don’t eat it now, it will spoil and go to waste”
    …and the list goes on.

    This is one of my most used thoughts “If I just eat all the junk in my house right now, it will be gone and it will stop sceaming at me to eat it.”

    I obey that thought all too often, even though I know that more junk will be there the next day and I will be saying the same thing to myself again.

    .-= Laurie´s last blog ..I consider yesterday a success… =-.


    love2eatinpa Reply:

    i can SO relate, laurie, to everything you wrote! this eating disorder can be relentless. we have got to stop lettting the food take over our lives, but it is hard. i think we have the power to do it though.
    thanks for stopping by.


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