I Feel Like I Just Went on a Binge

love2eatinpa, 03 February 2010, 10 comments
Categories: Day to Day Stuff
Tags: , , , , , ,

Ugh! Last night I felt so gross and bloated. I felt like how I used to back in my binging days. I felt like I ate everything in my house that wasn’t nailed down. I was overstuffed, bloated, very uncomfortable in my skin and just blah.


I remember this horrible feeling oh so well. It was so common in my life for so many years. Always filled with disgust and promises to “be good” the next day. The big difference though is that I did not binge. I merely ate my normal amount of calories. So what the heck is going on?

I made a bad choice yesterday. I have been trying really hard and doing a great job for the past week or so with listening to my body’s hunger cues. But last night I didn’t and I payed the price. I’m so stuck in the recovery food plan mindset of – I eat roughly X amount of calories every day to maintain my weight, so dammit it, I’m going to eat all those calories I’ve allotted because, well, I can!

Basically, I opted to ignore my hunger cues and ate dessert after dinner even though I wasn’t hungry just so I could hit the amount of calories I allot myself.

See, I’ve really been feeling fine for a while now, though it took a little while for my full appetite to come back. In fact, I just got my appetite back in full on Monday. However, a day or two ago, then once again today, I was seized with stomach pains for no apparent reason. Perhaps it was someting I ate that my belly is not ready for?

Early yesterday afternoon, when seized with the pains, I had to take gas-x and tums, then lay down in the fetal position. It then takes my stomach the rest of the day to get back to normal (appetite back). Is this stomach virus still kind of lingering even though I feel totally fine, been going to the gym, etc? Is there something else going on? Should I wait it out for another week or so and see if it keeps happening and if it does, maybe go see my primary or a gastro doctor?

Bottom line – lesson learned. You all told me. Today I’m back to listening to my body. Last night was my neon sign that I need to listen. My weight will work itself out when my body is ready. Apparently my body isn’t ready yet.

How do you feel when you don’t listen to your body?

One Day at a Time... Nurture myself... Awareness... Letting Go... Listen to my Body

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Comments

10 Responses, Leave a Reply
  1. Marsha @ Green Mountain at Fox Run
    03 February 2010, 9:33 am

    I love these experiments! Not that it is fun to experience the negative effects of one but they are so educational when you approach them with the attitude of experimenting. Sounds like you are really doing great with your progress in breaking free of compulsive eating!!

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    i’m trying, marsha, thanks!!! one day at a time.

    [Reply]

  2. Michelle@Eatingjourney
    03 February 2010, 11:06 pm

    The most important thing is to listen to your body. It’s SO easy to shut that little voice down with old habits. However, when I don’t listen to my body is the beginning of something usually not good for me.

    Good on your recognising that. WOOT!

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    i’m really trying, but you nailed it – long entgrained habits are hard to break.

    [Reply]

  3. Diana
    04 February 2010, 1:09 pm

    We all feel like you when we don’t listen to our bodies! At least, that’s what I feel like. It’s a lesson everyone needs to learn. I hope you feel better now that you know and can adjust back to listening 🙂

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    thanks for the reassurance, diana. i do feel better physically, thanks and i’m back into listening mode. 🙂

    [Reply]

  4. Jill
    04 February 2010, 9:51 pm

    I think you are doing a great job! 🙂

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    thanks! i’m trying… one day at a time.

    [Reply]

  5. Jess
    07 February 2010, 2:57 pm

    I did that same thing about two weeks ago! I overate in a short period of time and ended up feeling ill, despite being within my food plan.

    Last night, I had a nice dinner, and I looked and saw I had had no fruit over the course of the day. I was about to serve myself some when that bolt-of-lightning awareness sent down a message:

    “Don’t eat if I’m not hungry just because I have the calories banked.”

    If I had eaten more, I would have felt sick this morning. So, I waited to see if I got hungry, knowing I had room on my plan in case I did. I didn’t. While today fruit is going to be one of the first things I go for when I’m hungry again, I have to let yesterday go.

    So yes, I expect there will be a time in the future when I’ll overeat within my plan again, but I’m not going to kick myself over it. It just reminds me that the compulsion is still there, even if it’s quieted down most of the time. Sometimes, I make choices that make it so loud it’s the center of my world (like shopping hungry, being tired, being angry at someone and wanting to comfort myself, feeling alone and wanting to have a sugar rush high to numb me and make me artificially happy). That’s when I remember that I have to act to make it easier on myself, and that I won’t ever stop being compulsive around food.

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    glad you could relate! we went out to dinner last night and i was full. when i got home and tallied, i realized i had another 100 calories to eat. this time though, i listened to my body and it felt good. i’m sure i will make up those calories another time and my weight will stabilize. and yes, though the compulsions are quieted most of the time, they are still there. i think they always will be, but hopefully at some point they will become faint whispers.

    [Reply]

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