How I Told My Husband I was a Compulsive Overeater-Part I-reprint

While I’m away on vacation, I thought I would run some of my very first posts which would be great for me to see where I came from, and hopefully interesting for you to read as well.

I’m not quite sure where to begin. I didn’t know I was a compulsive overeater until close to two years ago. I thought all the sweets (among other things) that I filled my face with were merely due to a sweet tooth and a love of doughy, sugary food items. I didn’t realize that I was in fact binging or had a food addiction. When this realization hit me at the end of 2007, I poured out my heart to my husband in a letter. It was a huge catharsis for me. I cried off and on for days. Here is the beginning of the letter. I thought it would be a good way to start this blog. As I don’t want to bore everyone with a manifesto, I will publish the rest of the letter over the next few days. Here goes:

Hi Honey, I need to share something with you, about me, which I have recently admitted to myself. This is not easy for me, to admit that I have a problem, a weakness, which I can’t seem to get control of.

You and I have casually mentioned in the past that I have food issues. If I had to guess, I would say that you think my food issue is about my counting calories and weighing food. (I have come to learn that in actuality, my counting calories is a good tool that successful dieters use, but that is not the point here.) When I went to see the chiropractor about my lower back/knee a few months ago, I gave him the readers digest version of my weight issues, how I have gained 10-12 pounds over the past couple of years, etc. You’d think someone who worked out four days a week like me would not be gaining weight but I told him briefly that I have eating issues. The doctor said to me – you do know that you need to get some help for those issues, don’t you? I of course yes-yes’d him but knew I wouldn’t follow through because well, I didn’t really have a problem, I could handle it.

Well, apparently I can’t. I’m not sure what sparked my realization, but after doing some research I have come to grips with a sad fact about myself. I am a compulsive overeater. It’s something that I’ve done for most of my life except for the few years between having our daughter and when our son was a toddler, when I was losing weight and eating sensibly. I have a problem and I need help. I can’t seem to help myself anymore, both literally and figuratively. I know when you think of someone who compulsively overeats you picture someone who spends their day in the drive-thru line at fast food restaurants and weighs over 300 pounds. As my on-line research has indicated, that is not always the case.

One Day at a Time... Nurture myself... Awareness... Letting Go... Listen to my Body

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