How I Told My Husband I was a Compulsive Overeater, Final

Last one from the archives…

Here is the final part of the letter, part III, that I gave to my husband close to two years ago, when I realized I was a compulsive overeater and food addict.

I do not eat in order to live, I live to eat. I think about food all the time, what I’m going to eat and how long until I can eat it. What I’ve learned is that there has to be a reason why I compulsively overeat and I need to find out what the reason (or reasons) is. I am apparently eating to fill up a void or emptiness in myself, something I feel like I’m lacking in myself or in my life. It may be some kind of insecurity, I’m not sure. I do know that I have to figure out what it is so I can get a hold of it instead of letting it keep a hold of me.

I hope that admitting this to myself and to you will be a positive thing for me. I recently ordered a book by overeaters anonymous so I can maybe help myself that way and get myself started in the right direction. Maybe I will eventually need to go to speak with someone. So at this point, you probably have a couple of things going through your mind. The first is probably, geez, what kind of whacko am I married to? Hopefully the second thing that is going through your mind is – what can I do to help her? This one I can assist you with. Going forward, would you please stop bringing treats home for me? I totally recognize that you are being thoughtful bringing home something you know that I will enjoy and I appreciate that. However, I hope you now understand that treats are often a problem for me. I’m sure that with your love and support, I can conquer this.

Thanks for reading this. I love you.

One Day at a Time... Nurture myself... Awareness... Letting Go... Listen to my Body

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Comments

10 Responses, Leave a Reply
  1. Fullofhope
    20 October 2009, 2:19 pm

    I think it’s great that you were honest with your husband. I think it’s great too that you ordered the Overeaters Anonymous book. However, I would really encourage you to find an OA meeting to attend. I have been attending for over a year. It is so wonderful to share with a group of people who have the same feelings and issues as I do. Others really don’t understand. OA is truly a fellowship and support group. It is also a place of anonymity. We don’t share last names, social status, etc. We are all equal and are there for one reason – to help each other become free from compulsive eating. You will find understanding, encouraagement, and answers there. Following the twelve steps in the OA book and attending meetings have made a huge difference not only in my compulsive and emotional eating but also in many areas of my life. You can find more information or a meeting near you at http://www.oa.org

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  2. love2eatinpa
    20 October 2009, 4:34 pm

    hi and thanks so much for writing! write after i read the letter to my husband, i did go to a bunch of meetings and found one that i liked. i attended that meeting for over a year and enjoyed it. soon, i found other great sources of support and used them on a daily basis instead of going to the meeting once a week. and i agree with you, it is fabulous to sit in a room with people who totally understand you and know exactly where you are coming from, because no one else can truly understand. take care!

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  3. Victoria
    01 February 2010, 8:50 am

    I used to go to OA and felt very good about it but for whatever reason i stopped. I now realize that i need to go back. I recognized myself in the letter you wrote to your husband. I could see me sitting down writing that letter word for word. I too, am a compulsive over eater and need help to over come that. Thank you so much for your blog, it helps me to realize that i am not alone, that there are other people like me and that i can get help!

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    love2eatinpa Reply:

    hi victoria,
    thanks for writing! sadly, we are not alone, there are many more sufferers than you would think. it’s important that we reach out to one another, because as you said, it definitely helps to know you are not alone. i’m here if you need me, please feel free to write whenever you need to.

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  4. Margarita Tartakovsky
    02 April 2010, 11:28 am

    Wow, like your letter to your daughter, this letter is also powerful. It takes such strength to admit to yourself that you have a problem and such strength to tell your significant other and ask for help.

    Thank you for posting this! I think it’ll give others the inspiration, motivation and courage to reach out, too.

    I really enjoy your blog! It’s eloquent, honest and inspiring. 🙂
    .-= Margarita Tartakovsky´s last blog ..Body Image & Beautiful Art: Q&A with Elizabeth Patch of More to Love =-.

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    thanks for stopping by, margarita, and for your kind and supportive words! to be honest, i didn’t feel strong at the times i wrote the letters, especially to my husband, i felt weak and ashamed. i have gained strength over time which enabled me to write the letter/talk to my daughter.

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  5. Holly
    02 April 2010, 3:14 pm

    I have REALLY enjoyed reading your letter. I could find SO much of myself in it – it’s amazing how so many people are going through the same thing and think we’re alone!

    I haven’t written letters to any family members, but I do sometimes talk to them about my issues with food. What really caught me is when you asked your husband not to bring you sweets/treats anymore. My mom definitely does this from time to time – I think she has that “mothering/nurturing” instinct and loves to feed people. And i know she worries about me. It’s not as often as it used to be, but I hate that feeling of being torn because someone is trying to do something nice for you, yet it causes you such turmoil inside.

    Thanks again for opening up to us – I know it was a very therapeutic experience for you, and hopefully one day when I meet that special someone, I will be able to put all of my feelings down as you have!
    .-= Holly´s last blog ..It’s a…. =-.

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    love2eatinpa Reply:

    thanks, holly! i hear ya, yes, i felt like i was the only one with these totally bizarre reactions/feelings towards food. i’m glad that it struck a chord with you.

    and yes! i totally know what you mean when someone is trying to love/nurture you with food and really tears you up in your head. *sigh*

    yup, it was a total catharsis to write that letter, but it was just the beginning of my honesty and sharing all the crazy stuff that goes on in my head. =)

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  6. Jody - Fit ta 52
    03 April 2010, 9:25 pm

    What a wonderful thing to release!
    .-= Jody – Fit ta 52´s last blog ..Short Wedding Recap/Pictures =-.

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    it sure was! that was when my recovery began.

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