Gratitude

love2eatinpa, 02 February 2010, 10 comments
Categories: Day to Day Stuff
Tags: , , , ,

I haven’t been to an OA meeting in about a year. Over the past year, I’ve kept in touch with two people from my meeting who I was particularly friendly with, and decided to give them a call yesterday to touch base.

One of the woman, J, I reached and spoke with, catching each other up on our personal lives a well as our recovery programs. It was so nice to speak with her.

The other woman, S, I had to leave a message for. She has been abstinent / binge-free for over 17 years. Seventeen years!!! She is my idol. I would love to be able to say 15 years from now that I have been binge-free all that time as well. Tragically, she lost her husband in 2009. If that isn’t a reason to turn to food, I don’t know what is. But she worked her program and managed somehow to keep clear of turning to food in her sorrow.

I realized while speaking with J that the eating disorder blogging community is actually very similar to OA as far as being a supportive, caring community where we all have something in common. We can relate to what each other is going through, we validate one another and we lift each other up when we are down.


Though it is a shame we are all touched by food issues of some kind, I am SO grateful to have your blogs and comments to read to help keep me real, get great advice and to know that I’m not alone with this ED.

What are you grateful for?

One Day at a Time... Nurture myself... Awareness... Letting Go... Listen to my Body

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Comments

10 Responses, Leave a Reply
  1. Diana
    02 February 2010, 7:39 pm

    I would love to hear more about OA. Have you written about it before? Would you mind emailing me about it?

    I’m grateful for all the support as well. It’s a great community.

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    i wish i had gotten into blogging much sooner than in october like i did.

    [Reply]

  2. jackie callahan
    03 February 2010, 10:17 am

    I just responded to your comment on my blog, but at the risk of repeating myself (in case you don’t read the other comment) I will repeat some of what I said:
    I had the same exact experience last night. I felt gross, like I had pigged out, when in fact all I’d eaten was a normal amount of calories. But like, you, I, too, had been sick with the flu. I too, have been very slow to get my normal appetite back, in fact, today is 6 days later and it’s still not normal. But Mon night I started to feel hungry for food – but still only very soft foods, like hot cereal and such. Problem is I’ve been freaking out because eating carbs all day long is hardly diet-friendly, but sitting down to a salad and a breast of chicken has been out of the question.
    Anyway, last night I felt like I binged because I ate more calories than I needed, and although the physical symptoms may have been related to the flu-like symptoms still lingering ( I definitely think that’s what you were experiencing) but the emotional aspect was the shame of eating for emotional reasons. I wanted to eat because I needed to put something in my mouth, not because I was hungry, or my body needed it, and that’s why it felt so awful. I guess we just need to be gentle with ourselves. Loving, the way we would treat our children. If they’d been sick, we wouldn’t be watching their calories, we’d say, ” eat what appeals”. Maybe if I wasn’t being such a control freak I would be able to hear, and respect my body’s signals!

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    hi jackie, i’m at the two week mark, this must be some virus/flu! i know the carb thing is a little hard to come to terms with, but clearly we have both learned that we need to listen to our bodies, especially when we are sick/recovering from an illness. i hear ya on being a control freak. i am such a numbers girl and it’s been tough not eating my allotted calories to maintain my weight vs. how i’m desparately trying to listen to my body.

    [Reply]

  3. Holly
    03 February 2010, 12:48 pm

    I think that’s where counting cals DOES get me into trouble – if I’ve had too little and even if I’m not hungry, I will go on and eat because I think, “Well, you deserve it!” And if I’d had too many sometimes I say “screw it!” and that leads to a binge. Either way, ignoring my hunger cues never leads to a good thing!

    I’ve actually just recently learned of OA. I’ve thought about going, and I would REALLY love for my mom to go. She has been overweight her whole life and is contemplating getting gastric bypass, which terrifies me but at the same time she does take over 19 pills a day already….

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    well, i certainly learned my lesson last night. i did not like going back to the dark place, even if it was just feeling the after-effects of a binge AND i didn’t even binge. but yes, that is what i did, i thought i was allowed those calories and i was darn well going to eat them. BAD move!
    i can’t say enough about OA. you and your mom should give it a shot if you feel you could use some more help. there is a link to it on my blogroll.

    [Reply]

  4. Jill
    04 February 2010, 10:03 pm

    I have no issues with food, but I like this blog because it is interesting and I want to support you on your journey. 🙂 I’m an information junkie lol…always searching around about health, books, whatever interests me basically.

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    lol! aw, thank you! i’m envious you have no food issues though 😛

    [Reply]

  5. Robyn
    05 February 2010, 11:35 am

    Great insight on how calorie counting can back-fire. I agree that it can sometime do more harm than good. The body doesn’t need the same number of calories every day, so if we try to stick to a specific amount, some days we may overeat (ie eating what you are alloted, although not hungry). On the days when we need more, if we try to stick to a set amount, we may end up starved at the end of the day and it could STILL trigger overeating or in some cases a binge. Really good post.

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    you bring a great point, robyn, in a way i didn’t really look at it before – that our bodies don’t need the same number of calories every day. a good nugget for me to hold on to. thank for stopping by!

    [Reply]

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