Caught Between a Rock and Hard Place

So my appetite is mostly back after the stomach virus, that’s the good news. The not so good news is that while trying to learn from this tuning-in-to-my-body experience of the virus and trying to listen to my body’s hunger and satiation cues, I’m finding that I’m not eating as much as I usually do. Here’s the problem – I don’t want to lose weight. So I’m stuck between listening to my body’s hunger cues (so foreign to someone who has been a compulsive (over)eater for the past 30 years!), yet trying to eat enough calories so that I don’t lose weight.

As I have not stepped on the scale for two weeks (progress!) I honestly don’t know what is going on with my weight. But my husband just got back from being away for a week (the whole time I was sick, of course! :)) and he said that I was looking pretty thin. I know that my jeans are hanging down a bit, but now I had the visual confirmation from someone who hasn’t seen me in a week and well, knows my body pretty well.

So what do I do? Do I eat when I’m not hungry so I don’t lose any more weight and in fact put the missing weight back, or do I listen to my body’s cues? Does the virus and virus recovery fall into a special category of it’s own and therefore shouldn’t count for assessment?

Is this just bad timing? Here I get this amazing gift via a stomach virus of learning to be in tune with my body, yet I don’t want to keep off the weight I lost this past week and in fact I want to gain it back. *sigh* It does not feel good to eat when my stomach feels bloated right after eating a regular meal.

I’m hoping that once I get the 4-day-a-week gym routine going ahead (starting tomorrow) that my hunger will get back to being, well, practically all frickin day long, and following my hunger cues will not be an issue. Then hopefully the weight will come back on.

This is still all so bizarre to someone who used to binge off-and-on and compulsively overeat for decades – this new awareness of really trying to listen to my body’s signals so I can try to be an intuitive (dare I say, “normal”) eater, yet going against what I’m trying to ultimately achieve because I don’t want to lose any weight.

Please, any advice?


One Day at a Time... Nurture myself... Awareness... Letting Go... Listen to my Body

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Comments

12 Responses, Leave a Reply
  1. Diana
    27 January 2010, 4:15 pm

    Always listen to your body!! You don’t want to start bad habits & your body knows ๐Ÿ™‚ Besides… Your metabolism needs to kick back in. But, I’m no where near an expert so take it with a grain of salt.

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    thanks, diana! that does sound like the right thing to do. as weird as it sounds, i don’t want to lose more weight, hence, this dilemma. i guess when i get back to my normal routine my metabolism will kick back in and everything will even out. right? right?!?!? (say yes!) ๐Ÿ™‚

    [Reply]

  2. Lara
    27 January 2010, 4:39 pm

    try eating some calorie dense but not big in volume type foods like fats. This way you get the calories without making you feel full like when you eat something high in volume. Does that make sense? Like oils, cheese, nut butters, avocado, etc.

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    oooh, that’s a great idea! i’ll get more bang for my buck, but in the opposite way that i usually try to do it. that can help me put some of this weight back on, yet i can still listen to my body’s cues!

    [Reply]

  3. Michelle@Eatingjourney
    27 January 2010, 7:18 pm

    I think the most important thing is to try and silence the mind chatter that I SO often succumb to. Just listen to your body. Ass a little more to your meals–a little more oil or PB or whatever you eat. Small baby steps. Don’t freak. Just remember that you need to feel like you have energy and give your mind space to embrace this awesome place your in ๐Ÿ™‚

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    I know, the mind chatter, is the worst. In the past, I have probably had more conversations in my head about food than I have had normal conversations with people out loud!
    I did add a little more to my meals today as my hunger has been increasing. I chose higher density foods so i wouldn’t feel bloated but would get the calories. I love how you put that! – yes, I am slowly trying to embrace this new place that I’m trying to get to.

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  4. Mary Kate
    27 January 2010, 11:00 pm

    keep listening to your body. It will tell you what to eat. Maybe you are still recovering from the virus and your body is telling you to back off…it isn’t ready for so much food just yet. Your weight will come back to its normal eventually. Try not to spend too much time worrying about this….easier said than done, right???:) journal how you are feeling maybe??

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    thanks, mary kate. i think you are right, i am sort of in the in-between state of recovery from the virus getting back into my normal routine. i’m just a-type and want everything to happen right away, so i am being inpatient in wanting to try to implement the hunger-cue thing instead of patiently waiting for my body to be back to normal. i’m hoping things will change beginning today when i hit the gym for the first time in over a week, so i will stop thinking about this and move on to the normal crap i obsesses about. ๐Ÿ™‚

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  5. Mary Kate
    28 January 2010, 8:53 am

    i think you are implementing the hunger-cue thing already! i felt the same way before…impatient….and I wanted everything to happen right now and work the first time. I am an imperfect perfectionist!:) enjoy your workout! i LOVE getting back to the gym after being away….ahhhh….

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    yes, i agree, i think i am implementing the hunger-cue thing already (do you you have spy cameras in my house? ๐Ÿ™‚ ) i did enjoy my workout, but it definitely felt like i hadn’t been to the gym in over a week. but that’s ok, i like the idea of building back up.

    [Reply]

  6. Holly
    28 January 2010, 12:57 pm

    Hmm….this is definitely a toughie. After I have the stomach bug, I just plain don’t feel like eating “normally” for awhile! I think that
    itโ€™s just my bodyโ€™s way of telling me that Iโ€™m not back to myself. Listening to your body can never be badโ€ฆ.right? I would definitely see how you feel in the next few days, and I would just continue listening to your body. I hope you get your normal appetite back soon!

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    thanks, holly, i really am just trying to do just that. normally i am so scheduled with my grazing, i.e. it’s 2:00, time to eat xyz, whether i’m hungry or not. this body cue thing is a new adventure for me. i hope i can keep it up.

    [Reply]

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