These are the award’s rules:
1. Thank the person who gave you the award. Thanks FMDOC!!!
2. Share seven things about yourself. Coming up…
3. Nominate 15 newly discovered blogs. Sort of coming up, you’ll have to click on the links…
4. Let your nominees know about the award. Um, did it before and too lazy to do again, sorry =)

Seven things about me that I haven’t written yet…

1. I think I like taking my kids to see/watch Disney movies more than they enjoy the movies.

2. You know how everyone has at least one really bizarre or crazy thing/talent they can do? Not me, I don’t have one.

3. I’ve driven an SUV for a little over 10 years and I don’t think I could ever go back to driving a sedan. Why? Because I’m 5’3″ and I really like the idea of feeling somewhat tall at least at some point during the day.

4. I am the only person in my family who does not have curly hair.

5. I’m currently addicted to watching triathlons on TV.

6. In the summer, I like to paint my toenails or do an occasional splurge on a pedi. For some reason, I never do my fingernails. I think because I use my hands so much that the polish gets crapped up so quickly.

7. As a kid, I always thought it would be so cool to wear glasses. Fast forward to my late 30′s, guess who actually needed them?

and one for good luck…

8. I have never colored my hair. The grays are starting to come in though, so I see hair coloring in my future…

I think via other awards I’ve been lucky enough to be the recipient of, I have probably already nominated most of the other blogs I enjoy reading. I apologize if I’ve not mentioned you! You can see the blog lists here and here.

Last, and certainly not least, a shout out to Katie at “Health for the Whole Self” for her awesome giveaway. Check it out here.

One Day at a Time... Nurture myself... Awareness... Letting Go... Listen to my Body

“May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of
us.”

I need to take this in and absorb this. I have SO many things going on in my head/my world right now, that I need to stop worrying about them, if even just for a few minutes, to let this wonderful set of sentences sink in. I hope you chose to do the same.

One Day at a Time... Nurture myself... Awareness... Letting Go... Listen to my Body

It says “Do you feel out of control with food? Do you find yourself spending a lot of time worry about what you ate, what you’re eating, and what you plan to eat? Ever feel like you start a meal or a snack and suddenly it’s gone, and you don’t really remember eating it?

Here’s what you’ll learn:

• Easy ways to reconnect with your body’s innate wisdom.
•  The one essential vitamin that you’re definitely missing
•  Why you can’t stick to diets (hint: it’s not about willpower).
• Why you find it hard to stop eating at night.
• How to heal from habits that no longer serve you.
• Whether emotional eating is a new problem for you or you’ve been doing it as long as you can remember, you’ll get at least 3 BIG insights into how to heal from emotional eating that you’ll be able to use immediately to reconnect with your body and eat healthfully with ease.

 
Even though I don’t really emotionally eat very much at all, I’m still going to check it out because I feel like there will still be some great info for me.

Other stuff…  tomorrow will mark 10 weeks of intuitive eating.  Thank goodness it is still going well.

My triathalon training is coming along.  The swim portion is tough, but I’m doing my best.

Have a great weekend everyone!

One Day at a Time... Nurture myself... Awareness... Letting Go... Listen to my Body

Good or bad, I’m not someone that frequently steps out of my comfort zone. I am someone who lives a pretty structured life. I have my routines of workouts, eating, what my days are like, etc., and that gives me comfort. I have read some great posts about challenging yourselves and I always read them and think it’s a great concept, but rarely put it into play in my own life.

A quick bit of background… for about 11 years I was a runner. That was pretty much all I did 3-4 days a week. Then about 2-1/2 years ago, I went to get a slight knee issue checked out after running a 1/2 marathon and found out through testing that I had a torn meniscus in my knee. There was nothing to be done about it and it certainly wasn’t debilitating, it was just there and certainly wasn’t going to get better as time went on. I also was told that I couldn’t run as much anymore, which led me to join a gym.

This turned out to be a blessing in disguise. While I still continued to run on the treadmill once a week, I also discovered the elliptical machine, the precor and strength training. I have reaped the wonderful results of using all that equipment.

So getting back to the idea of challenging myself…

The other day I got an email from an organization which is near and dear to my heart that a fellow eating disordered friend turned me on to. A Chance to Heal. Their mission: “A CHANCE TO HEAL prevents the incidence and reduces the impact of eating disorders, and promotes the importance of positive body image by educating and influencing parents, young people, educators and healthcare professionals.”

The email said – “Join us as A Chance to Heal celebrates the power and joy of our bodies while embracing the importance of body image, productivity and energy. We will be fielding a team of triathletes at the following four events this summer in the Delaware Valley…” Here’s the logo:

It hit me. This is a sign. It’s time for me to step out of my comfort zone and challenge myself to do something I’ve never done before. While I have ran a marathon, a couple of halves and 10 milers, and numerous other short races, I’ve never done a triathlon. I always knew I could run and bike, but I’m not a strong swimmer so I felt a tri was never really in the cards for me.

This email came at a time that my mind was open to such an idea. So I have decided to train for and compete in my very first triathalon in mid-August. Once I wrapped my brain around the idea, I realized that I loved the idea of shaking up my regular workout routine, using new muscles and having a challenging and exciting goal on my calendar. I haven’t had one of those for over 2-1/2 years ago when I ran my last 1/2 marathon.

So I’m excited. I forgot how exhilarating (and scary!) it feels to have a date on the calendar of something to shoot for, something that was just for me. I can make a weekend of it with my family. My kids saw me do a 10-mile race and the last 1/2 marathon but they are older now and can hopefully appreciate all the more what I am doing. I especially want my 10-1/2 year old daughter to see the women of all shapes and sizes doing great things with their bodies. I want my kids to see their mom set a goal, challenge herself and follow through as they are cheering me on.

What they ask of competitors is to raise $200 in sponsorships. All proceeds go directly to supporting eating disorder education and prevention programming. I will have to ask people to sponsor me, which I’m not entirely comfortable with, but I need to remember the money is going to a worthy cause. I certainly wish I was exposed to an organization like this when I was growing up.

)If by any chance you would like to make a donation to sponsor me, please go to make a donation. Put in any amount and then let me know (privately if you wish) so I can let them know to attribute it to the money I’m raising.)

Or here’s another idea, if you live in the Delaware Valley, please come join me!

Reminder – if you haven’t already done so, please check out my earrings giveaway. It ends on 5/31.

Have you stepped out of your comfort zone lately? What are you doing to challenge yourself?

One Day at a Time... Nurture myself... Awareness... Letting Go... Listen to my Body

There it is all shiny and fabulous. So a big thanks to Rita and this is what I had to do to as the recipient of this honor:

1. Get really excited that you got the coolest award EVER! Done!

2. Choose ONE of the following options of accepting the OMB award:
(a) Get really drunk and blog for 15 minutes straight, or for as long as you can focus. If I drank enough to get drunk, I would fall asleep!
(b) Write about your most embarrassing moment. I just wrote about the time I pulled a pizza crust out of the trash can and ate it here.
(c) Write a “Soundtrack of your childhood” post. This would take way too many brain cells for me to do and I barely make it through the day as it is.
(d) Make your next blog a ‘vlog’/video blog. Basically, you’re talking to the camera about whatever. I’ve never done a vlog before and sadly, wouldn’t know the first thing to do.
(e) Take a picture of yourself first thing in the morning, before you do anything else (hair, makeup, etc) and post it. Well, here ya go!!

wake up sleepyhead!

I know, I know, I’m going to need to change my phone number so I don’t get bogged down by all the modeling agencies who are surely going to be calling me now!

3. Pass this award onto at least 3, but preferably more, awesome bloggers as yourself. Don’t forget to tell them.

Number three is the hardest part. There are so many really great blogs out there, it is really hard to narrow it down as to whom to pass this award on to. Though you all have inspired me and aided in my recovery, I’ve decided to chose some of you who are ahead of me and help me to keep moving forward.

1. Diane Fit to the Finish Diane lost 150 lbs over 12 years ago and has maintained her weight, despite being the mother of seven, yes SEVEN, kids! (I can barey manage two kids!) Diane is an inspiration in how to balance life, while staying fit and healthy.
2. Truth2BeingFit Though Jody doesn’t have an eating disorder, she is my idol as far as being 10 years older than me and looking as amazing as she does. Her blog gives great workout/fitness/health advice.
3. Big Girl Bombshell. Jules’ blog is full of very wise and thought provoking advice about life, eating and body image.
4. Honor My Health. Christie has great info about recovering from disordered eating, eating and living healthy, as well as interesting recipes.
5. Weightless. Margarita offers a wealth of information from a psychological standpoint regarding not just eating disorders, but other mental issues. Her sight is a great resource.
6. Healthy Girl. I only just started lurking on here, but am really enjoying this site and feel like I can learn a lot here.

If you have a moment and don’t read these already, please check them out. There are so many other blogs that I truly enjoy, I couldn’t possibly list them all but many of them are in my blogroll.

On another note, I got on the scale for the first time in a month. My jeans had been feeling less loose and I assumed that from that long mother’s day weekend of eating more than usual, along with the week of drinking regular soda instead of diet, that I had put on a few pounds, which would have been ok. Well, somehow I lost 1-1/2 pounds! And that was after a 1 pound loss last month.

Now while I’m not trying to lose weight, it just goes to show that the Intuitive Eating is actually working!!! Lord knows what part of my body the loss has come from, but there it was on the scale. So while I don’t want to lose any more weight, it now means after two months of not weighing/measuring my portions and counting calories that I am progressing and succeeding. This gives me hope, confidence and trust that I really can continue to just listen to my body and it will do me right.

One Day at a Time... Nurture myself... Awareness... Letting Go... Listen to my Body

Saturday will make seven weeks of no weighing/measuring of food or counting calories, though I do admit to still doing some tallying in my head once in a while. Long-standing habits are hard to break! For what it’s worth, I used to write down all the counts and use a calculator to tally. But now since I stopped officially counting, if I feel the urge to get an idea of how much I’ve eaten, I have to figure out everything in my head, which is quite a daunting task for my pea brain!

I had a pretty big test over the weekend. We had a dessert event Friday night, a dinner and dessert event Saturday night (where we ate dinner at about 9:00 pm, VERY late for me) and then a luncheon on Sunday for Mother’s Day. (Happy belated mother’s day to all the moms!)

All three times I did not frame any foods as forbidden, and I allowed myself to taste things to see if they were worth it. Some things were, some things weren’t. If they tasted good, I enjoyed them, but without bingeing.

After the third day in a row, because my body was probably in a bit of shock after eating treats that it hasn’t had much of since I’ve been binge-free, along with eating dinner very late one of those nights, I didn’t feel too good both physically and mentally.

Physically, my stomach was feeling full throughout a good portion of those three days, something I’m really not used to anymore. (On a side note, I have been pms’ing for a week on this estrogen supplement, so I’m sure there was some bloating going on. TMI?). Mentally, I didn’t like the feeling of being full.

Actually, both those things worried me a bit. Though I did not binge, there were some bad/disordered behaviors going on in my head. Basically, overeating a little bit at these three events, three days in a row, made me a little nervous in that – would I go back to being a “normal” eater, someone who can overindulge a little bit at a special event, but then go right back to normal eating the next meal or the next day? As a compulsive overeater for decades, it would be SO easy to slip back into my old disordered ways. So would I slide right back into that sickness or would I be able to keep my act together, be the recovering/recovered person that I have worked so hard at being, and bounce right back?

The answer is… I was able to get back to being a recovering person, although on Monday I was still a little bit pick-y with some leftovers.

On top of the 3-event weekend, I also discovered that the 12-pack of caffeine free soda which I drank seven cans of during the course of the week, was not diet soda, as I usually drink. So there was an extra 1050 calories right there. Ugh! To add insult to injury, I dropped a can on the floor and it exploded onto just about every wall, pantry door, table and chair within a 5′ radius in my kitchen. Talk about a sticky mess!

I’m due to get on the scale for the first time in a month on Tuesday. Though my clothes still feel pretty much the same, my jeans slightly less loose, I will touch base on the scale just to see what’s what.

Another good recovery step for me – I had my annual physical with my primary care physician yesterday. Though I’ve only known I’ve had an eating disorder since December of 2007, I came clean to my doctor about it. Add him to the short list of people who know.

On another note… There were two great eating disorder-related shows on yesterday, if you didn’t see them, try to check them out on line.

First, on Oprah, she interviewed author Geneen Roth about her latest book called “Women, Food and God”. Here’s the link to the show on Oprah’s website. (I have previously posted about Roth’s awesome book “Breaking Free from Compulsive Eating” here, here and here.) I think I’m going to be picking up this new book. Oprah rattled off a quick list of guidelines at the end of the show and one of them was something to the effect of – to eat in full view of others, which struck a chord with me.

Then on Dr. Phil, he did an “in your face” with a girl who has been suffering from anorexia and bulimia for the past nine years, and her family. It was pretty disturbing. Here’s a link to the show on Dr. Phil’s website.

Lastly, I’m going to remain on “blog break” to enjoy being more present and until I figure some more things out, but I will check in again soon. I apologize for not reading your blogs and keeping up. I hope you are all doing well!

I’ll be back, so please bear with me. If you have any questions or want to contact me, please feel free! love2eatinpa@gmail.com.

One Day at a Time... Nurture myself... Awareness... Letting Go... Listen to my Body

Everything is totally fine. I’m feeling good, just plugging along nicely with the intuitive eating (everything in moderation) and my normal workouts. I just want to step away from my laptop, spend some more time with my kids and husband, and take a look at where I am heading in my life right now.

I’ll be back, so please bear with me. If you have any questions or want to contact me, please feel free! love2eatinpa@gmail.com

One Day at a Time... Nurture myself... Awareness... Letting Go... Listen to my Body

Beth, shoot me an email with your mailing address so I can get the book sent to you. Hope you get as much out of the book as I did!

Second, I had a wonderful Sunday – Monday getaway with my husband. (We were the winning bidder on a silent auction at a fundraiser for a night’s stay and dinner at the Borgata in Atlantic City. We saw a comedy show after dinner and had a great time.)

The getaway was a bunch of “re’s”… relaxing, refreshing, recharging and we did some needed reconnecting.

It was wonderful, if even for just 27 hours, to be just grown-ups having fun together, with no responsibilities. Personally, it meant not being mom/referee/cook/dishwasher, just being a wife who had a wonderful time remembering why she loves her husband so much.

We had wonderful meals, and for me, there was no obsessions or concerns about food before, during or after. I made good choices, had treats within moderation and felt wonderfully unencumbered by any thoughts of an eating disorder.

My m-i-l stayed at our house with the kids while we were away. We are so lucky that she lives close by and that she is willing to do that for us. It’s a win-win — the kids love her, she loves to be with the kids and we get some quality adult time.

I remember when my daughter was born 10-1/2 years ago, my independent personality rarely accepted the help she offered. I was not brought up in a home where people were nurturing and I became very independent in order to survive. Also, as a new mom, nursing around clock, I didn’t think she could do much to help me anyway, and I think I wanted to prove I could handle my own baby.

Well, when my son came along 2 yrs and 4 months later, I realized what an amazing gift I had in my m-i-l. By that time, with a newborn and a toddler, I was so grateful for the help, that I certainly sought her out.

So I/we are quite lucky to have her live less than 15 minutes away and that she is always willing to step in and watch the kids when she is available.

Have you ever had a gift like this right under your nose but didn’t realize it?

One Day at a Time... Nurture myself... Awareness... Letting Go... Listen to my Body

1) What physical features do you love about yourself?
I think I have nice arms and shoulders. I’m lucky that I don’t carry weight there, so from working out, my arms look pretty toned and cut. Of course my mother-in-law and her friends think I look ill, but they don’t come from a generation where women workout/lift weights. Ironically, I am one of those people who is always cold, so I practically always have my arms covered. Go figure!

2) How do you personally take care of yourself?
I take care of myself by eating as healthy as I can. I’m pretty fussy and don’t like a lot of fruits and vegetables, but I do try to eat the ones that I do like as much as I can. I workout four days a week like clockwork, and my sleep is very important to me.

3) What are you looking forward to?
Warmer weather, a one-night get-a-way planned with my husband tomorrow!!

4) Who has aided your recovery the most?
My therapist, followed by books I’ve read. And of course – me! =)

5) What was the very last thing you ate?
breakfast – oatmeal with scrambled eggs in one bowl (thanks, alicia!)

6) What is one material thing you are dying to have right now?
A necklace from The Silver Maple or a snow-blower for next winter. =)

7) If you could travel anywhere, where would you go?
Hawaii or Israel

8 ) What is/was your biggest fear food, and how will/did you conquer it?
That’s a tough one… I have learned from my therapist not to frame foods in that way, that nothing should be feared or forbidden. But prior to learning that from him, I guess I would say dark chocolate. I safely always have a bag of dark chocolate Hershey’s kisses (my gravatar!) so I can have a few to get my sweet fix after dinner. Years ago I would have some, then keep jumping again for “just one more” over and over again. I don’t remember how I conquered it, but it is always in my house and always for after dinner.

9) What are your dreams for life after ED?
I feel like my toe is dipping into “life after ED” right now and it feels wonderful. My dream is for it to always be as it has for the past month – I’m not obsessed with food thoughts, I don’t weigh/measure portions, I don’t get on the scale every day. I’m binge-free 2+ years. I want to maintain my current weight while doing these things and be able to live this way for the rest of my life. I also dream/pray that I don’t pass down an ED to my daughter.

10) What advice would you give to someone concerning eating disorders?
Definitely to seek help to find the root of where the ED comes from, analyze it and then put it behind you. I think that has been key for me. Another huge thing is being honest about it. Maybe not with the whole world, but with some people you can trust, because I really believe in my tagline – you are only as sick as your secrets.

Hey all, as I mentioned in #3, I will be away Sunday – Monday (woohoo!) so I will be MIA blog-wise. Catch up with everyone on Tuesday! Have a great weekend!

And oh, there is still time to enter the book giveaway, see original post here. Deadline is May 2, a random winner will be chosen on May 3.

One Day at a Time... Nurture myself... Awareness... Letting Go... Listen to my Body

Margarita from “Weightless” regularly features interviews with women who’ve recovered from disordered eating. After reading on her blog that she was looking for stories, I decided to share mine and feel honored that she would want to put my story on her awesome blog.

You can check out part two of the interview on “Weightless” today, click here.

If anyone else wants to share their story on Weightless, they can email Margarita at mtartakovsky@gmail.com. She is wonderful to work with.

One Day at a Time... Nurture myself... Awareness... Letting Go... Listen to my Body