Birthday Weekend and Book Winner

My birthday was yesterday and the weekend included a little bit of a little bit of struggle, but mostly great stuff.

The birthday celebration started Friday night when two dear friends took me out to dinner. There is nothing like getting out with a couple of friends and just relaxing while the husband takes care of the kids.

Saturday night we went to a casino-type fundraiser for our synagogue. I already knew the dinner menu was not foods that I particularly care to eat, so I ate dinner beforehand. I was a little concerned about the dessert buffet, but was armed with a plan of being choice-ful and enjoying a few things that I really enjoyed.

Some little victories happened… first, they had m&m’s and hershey’s kisses out on all the tables. For some reason that I cannot fathom, I didn’t want any. (Um, hello, did I just say that I didn’t want any chocolate!?!?!)These candy’s are my some of my favs too! I don’t know whether I knew that they are triggers for me and I knew that if I had one I would keep on going. Maybe they just weren’t special enough and I was waiting for the good stuff on the dessert buffet. Perhaps my stomach felt full from the can of caffeine free sprite I just drank. Or maybe, I was just being a “normal” eater and I was able to be present in conversations instead of fixating on the chocolate that was just inches away from me. Whatever the case may be, I was pleased with myself.

Two hours into the four-hour event, the desserts were not out and I was hungry and I was feeling chilly. I wanted something at home, not the m&m’s or kisses. So my husband walked me out to our car and I left. (He would easily get a ride home with someone else in our neighborhood. And oh, turns out that when they did in fact put out the desserts, they were killer. While I would have enjoyed them and hoped that I would stick to my plan and not letting the food rule me, I was kind of glad that I didn’t even have to deal with it.)

So I came home, had the dessert that I wanted, made a nice cup of decaf coffee and felt good about my choices.

For SO many years my birthday revolved around food. As I’ve mentioned in other posts, I would make a list of food, that I would work on for months, of special, decadent treats that I would typically not indulge in, that were saved especially for my birthday. I would spend the day driving around to bakeries, markets, etc to buy all the things on my list. Some I would eat in the car as I was going, some I would just gorge on when I get home. It was a a true day of utter gluttony. I felt stuffed all day, but that didn’t stop me from shovelling these treats in, because after all, it was my special day and I deserved it, right?

The past two years of being binge-free, I worried what I would do on my birthday, because the usual binge-to-end-all-binges was out of the question. Quite frankly, I really didn’t know what to do with myself to celebrate.

But this year, something has changed. I told my husband that I wanted a day of peace and quiet. I wanted him to take over (most of) the parenting reigns of our elementary school-aged children. I wanted him to the be the one, for this one day of the year, to wake up with the kids and get them ready for Sunday school. Instead of me being the one to tell them – hurry up and eat… get ready…get your sneakers on…you gotta go..etc, like I do for school. I left him to be do the parent policing in the morning for a change and he was happy to oblige.

I lazed in bed, which I never do, caught in that sweet world of not quite asleep and not quite awake, knowing that I, for once, did not have to rush downstairs to get the kids ready to go out the door. It was wonderful. I ate my breakfast and got ready for the gym in a calm, peaceful manner, knowing I had no agenda or commitments to my day, other than to just chill out.

Typically my days are gogogo, rushrushrush, hurryhurryhurry, dododo, so to be in a relaxed mode was a fantastic.

The cardio portion of my workout was unusually high energy. A good way to kick off my first day of being 42!

My husband and kids surprised me in the early afternoon with one of those “baby” cakes (chocolate cake with chocolate icing, of course!) that is double layer and only about 6″ in diameter. I had a small piece and the frosting was really delish. The four of us at half the cake.

I started contemplating eating just the frosting off the rest of it. I hadn’t eaten anything after lunch and more frosting could be eaten instead of my afternoon snacks. I ran it past my husband, who said I should enjoy my birthday and just toss what’s left of the cake in the trash.

So you know what, I did just that. I slowly ate and savored just the chocolate icing over the course of about 30 minutes. I tried to keep a rough mental count of how much I was having so I could account for the calories. It was a yummy, special birthday treat and I felt no guilt in eating it. It was not a compulsive, secretive, frenzied binge, just someone “letting go” and enjoying a treat in a controlled fashion for one day.

That evening the two of us went out for a nice dinner. I ate lightly as I was still satiated from the frosting. The restaurant brought up a cupcake with a candle in it, which was an unexpected surprise. I ate maybe 1/3 of it at best, my husband at the rest.

Then they brought the dessert tray over. There were a couple of things that looked really good. I knew I didn’t want chocolate, because clearly I had enough of that already. I was in a real quandary – do I split one of the desserts with my husband simply because it was my birthday and why shouldn’t I enjoy, or do I truly realize that I have had quite enough dessert for the day and pass. The voices in my head were having quite a field day arguing with one another. I looked to my husband for his opinion and he said – it’s your birthday. I honestly didn’t know what to do.

So after a few minutes of my wishy-washy indecision, my husband finally said the magic words – let’s pass. My immediate reaction, a physical reaction, was the feeling of a punch in my gut. But then I realized he was right and was glad he made the decision.

So all told, I went over my calorie count by around 400. Certainly not the end of the world for one day and so ended my birthday story, and today I’m right back to my normal eating habits, but….

the winner of the “Stop Overeating TODAY!” book is Diana! Congrats!! Diana, please email me your mailing address and the author will send the book directly to you.

One Day at a Time... Nurture myself... Awareness... Letting Go... Listen to my Body

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Comments

30 Responses, Leave a Reply
  1. Kim
    22 March 2010, 6:16 pm

    Happy belated birthday! Sounds like you did so well with the food stuff 🙂

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    thanks, kim! i’m sure the dessert buffet woud have been challenging, so i’m kinda glad my timing was good and i didn’t have to deal with it. =)

    [Reply]

  2. Bobbie @Anonymous Fat Girl
    22 March 2010, 6:21 pm

    Sounds like you had a great birthday! And how sweet to have your family make you a cake like that! 🙂
    .-= Bobbie @Anonymous Fat Girl´s last blog ..It keeps ME running + Forrest Gump & Runner’s World =-.

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    i did have a great birthday. um, did i say they made the cake? sorry to have misled, my husband bought it.

    [Reply]

  3. Jody - Fit at 52
    22 March 2010, 7:34 pm

    Happy belated birthday! It is so cool how far you have come & the steps forward by just being aware. Really great! CONGRATS! Give yourself credit for this!
    .-= Jody – Fit at 52´s last blog ..Keeping Women Motivated, the FJ Way; Giveaway Winner =-.

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    thanks, jody!!! i’m not good at giving myself credit, but i’m working on it.

    [Reply]

  4. MB
    22 March 2010, 7:44 pm

    Sounds like you had a great birthday weekend. I don’t think I would have been able to resist those chocolates. You are STRONG!

    You are such an inspiration. You give me hope that I can someday be cured of binge eating.

    HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    you are so sweet, thank you! i am still a work in progress though. =)

    [Reply]

  5. Alicia
    22 March 2010, 8:16 pm

    I love the idea of celebrating your bday with a full out relaxation day. I’m so remembering that for July 1st! It sounds like you did pretty well on the food end of things – and a big kudos to your hubby for being so in tuned with your needs to decline the dessert. Birthday calories don’t count 🙂 Happy belated bday!
    .-= Alicia´s last blog ..Ohio Society of Professional Engineers =-.

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    thanks! i was SO wavering about the dessert in the restaurant. he actually did one of those great tips from the book as being my “buddy” and reading my cues and making the decision for me. after the momentary desire to punch him passed, i was more than fine with his making the decision. =)

    [Reply]

  6. Gina Fit by 41 Maybe 42
    22 March 2010, 8:25 pm

    That does sound like a happy, regret-free birthday.

    ” I ran it past my husband, who said I should enjoy my birthday and…” eat it all. – That’s how I finished it in my head but then read on “just toss what’s left of the cake in the trash.” – I was pleasantly amazed! I guess you have to be in my weird head to understand my perplexed response. lol

    You savored, you enjoyed, no hiding. Bravo.

    And letting the reigns pass over to your DH sounds great. Was it scary, too, letting someone else have control?
    .-= Gina Fit by 41 Maybe 42´s last blog ..Vintage vs. Modern Ads – humor to ponder =-.

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    lol! he knew that i was just going for the icing. the cake wasn’t as good so i wouldn’t waste the calories on it. that’s why he said to toss whatever i left over. like i said to alicia, i could not make up my mind about whether to order (yet another!) dessert, so after i got over wanting to whack him for opting for us not to get the dessert, it was a relief. it was one of those cases where i was glad that someone made the decision for me. talk about being weird in the head! =)

    [Reply]

  7. Lisa
    22 March 2010, 9:20 pm

    That is great. To be able to eat treats in a calm enjoyable manner instead of a binge frenzy is the absolute best birthday gift you can give yourself.

    A day with the hubby in charge of the daily craziness of kids….pure bliss 🙂

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    aw lisa, i love how you put that, thanks! i really don’t take the time to appreciate what i’ve accomplished, so that was especially nice to read, thank you!
    and yes, a day of not being the policeman/referee/chef/nag was in fact bliss. =)

    [Reply]

  8. Holly
    22 March 2010, 9:33 pm

    It sounds like you had SUCH a great birthday! Birthdays and holidays sometimes create anxiety in me. And not just my birthdays. My family is fairly big, and we always get together to celebrate birthdays – with my favorite cake, and ice cream. We did tonight actually! I usually pass on the cake because i’m afraid it will trigger a binge, and tonight when I did, I was actually okay with it. We’d JUST finished dinner – I truly wasn’t hungry yet!

    And only going over by 400 cals for the day is awesome! I’d bet that most people go over for just one MEAL on their birthdays. I’m glad you got some “me” time, too. You are a wonderful, devoted mom – you deserve it!
    .-= Holly´s last blog ..Heart Rate Monitor Advice =-.

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    i really did have a nice birthday, thanks holly. trust me, i’m right there with you with any and all events where food is used to celebrate causes anxiety for me. i need to remind myself of all i have learned and not to frame these instances in a bad light and not to focus on the food, but it’s hard. good for you for being able to pass on the cake tonight and to really be ok with it! a victory!
    thanks so much for your kind words. =)

    [Reply]

  9. Yum Yucky
    22 March 2010, 10:19 pm

    WOW! Happy birthday, woman! you did really really good. 400 over is so not gonna happen for me. the 4-5 slices of cake alone will set me at, what? over 1,000 calories, right?

    but this is about YOU, not me. and I’m sooo happy you got to laze in bed and relax. Ahhhh!
    .-= Yum Yucky´s last blog ..Man-Food Emergency =-.

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    lol! thanks, josie! laying in bed was quite blissful (and unusual!).

    [Reply]

  10. Jess
    23 March 2010, 12:26 am

    Belated Happy Birthday to you! It did sound like a nice day, and I love that you shared the inspiration of pre-abstinence birthday versus post-abstinence birthday.

    Definitely inspiring. And congrats to Diana, and now that the drawing is over, I will go out and buy the book ;-).

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    thanks, jess!
    i do recommend the book. i only touched on tips that appealed to me, you may find another tip in the book that really speaks to you. it’s great to have on hand.

    [Reply]

  11. […] Birthday Weekend and Book Winner | Confessions of a Compulsive Eater […]

  12. Diana
    23 March 2010, 7:57 am

    Happy Belated Birthday! And, Congrats! Sounds like your’e really getting in touch with your feelings and body. Not ready for intuitive eating? I think you’re doing it anyway 🙂

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    thanks, diana, and congrats to you!
    wow, i didn’t look at it that way, but perhaps i have taken a step towards intuitive eating…

    [Reply]

  13. amanda
    23 March 2010, 4:36 pm

    First off I want to say Happy Belated birthday. You had some great food moments that some day I hope I can achieve. It is about taking it one day at a time. Anyway, I do want to thank you for one tip and that was employing my husband to help me. We recently went on vacation and I had took healthy snack with me. However, when I drink alcohol I will tear into everything! So I made him hide it from me in the hotel room before we went out. We also went to a buffet recently and I made him get my desserts off the buffet line. If I would go up I know I would get multiples of every item. I was proud of myself for something so small. So thank you!
    .-= amanda´s last blog ..Las Vegas Food Porn =-.

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    thanks, amanda!
    and wow, i’m so happy to hear that some of the things i’ve written about are working for you! that is so exciting!!
    i am the same way with alcohol. i lose all inhibition, my logic goes even quicker out the window and i want the food even more.

    [Reply]

  14. Laurie
    23 March 2010, 8:27 pm

    You did amazing on your birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
    So often I look to my boyfriend to make food decisions for me. He has no idea what is going on in my head when he makes these seemingly mundain decisions for me!

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    thank you, laurie!
    i hear ya, if my husband were to hear all the crazy litany of conversations going on inside my head about food, he would think i was certifiable! =)

    [Reply]

  15. Sagan
    23 March 2010, 10:09 pm

    Happy belated birthday!!

    This post made me so happy. There’s a CHOICE there, and we can activate it.

    Getting a day mostly to yourself is a great birthday present.
    .-= Sagan´s last blog ..Re-Cap of a Weekend Getaway and Thoughts on Cheese =-.

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    thanks so much, sagan! it felt empowering to be choice-ful, instead of letting the food take over my brain. it certainly was helpful that my husband made that choice for me, just employing one of the tips, right? =)

    [Reply]

  16. […] Birthday Weekend and Book Winner | Confessions of a Compulsive Eater […]

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