23 Months of Binge-Free Abstinence!

love2eatinpa, 03 December 2009, 6 comments
Categories: Day to Day Stuff
Tags: , , , , , ,

I can’t believe it, two days ago I hit the 23-month abstinence mark.  For almost two years I have been binge-free.  I have kept off my weight loss for 14 months.  I am SO happy to be able to make both of those statements.  It has certainly been quite challenging, day-to-day, hour-to-hour, minute-to-minute, but  if I can do it, anybody can.

Looking back on these past 23 months… In the beginning, I enjoyed going to one certain OA meeting once a week for about a year or so, but then I found out that a friend was also a compulsive eater and my daily email shares with her took the place of the weekly meeting so I stopped going to the meeting.  While it would certainly not hurt to go to the meeting, my work load has picked up, I feel like between this wonderful friend, my husband (and now this blog!), that I am able to talk about whatever is on my mind and put it out there in the universe. As my blog tag-line says, “you are only as sick as your secrets” and I find that really holds true for me.  When I come clean about my thoughts and any little slips I’ve had, it makes it much easier to move on as oppposed to keeping them bottled up inside of me.  My honesty sets me free.

I did not work all the steps of OA.  For me, the first two were enough (for now anyway) to put me on the right course.  The first two steps gave me the ability to take ownership of this eating disorder, which for the past 30+ years I didn’t even know I had. 

I know that I will have food issues for life.  I am a work-in-progress.  I know that once you are a compulsive (over)eater, you can never totally leave the “title” behind no matter how many years you are in recovery or abstinent.  I think that totally sucks, but I have taken ownership of it.  I do hope that with therapy and whatever else I can pick up along the way, that in the future, easier days will become the majority, and the hard days, the minority.  That is what I’m striving for.   I want to turn 23 months into 23 years. 

I know that I may never have a normal relationship with food, but I want to get as close as possible, so that food, and thoughts of food, will not rule my world anymore.

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Comments

6 Responses, Leave a Reply
  1. innerpilgrimage
    03 December 2009, 10:03 pm

    Hooray hooray hooray! Congratulations on 23 months!

    [Reply]

  2. love2eatinpa
    03 December 2009, 10:08 pm

    thank you so much! i look forward to congratulating you when you hit that mark.

    [Reply]

  3. Maria
    09 December 2009, 7:49 pm

    It’s definitely true that it suck that we’ll never have a normal relationship with food. The good news, however, is that after lengthy periods of abstinence, it becomes easier to control your urges towards food. At least that’s my experience from my “good years.”

    I just want to add how happy I am to have found your website. I’m struggling so much with my food issues right now, and your success story is an inspiration.

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    oh gosh, maria, i hope you are right and it gets easier the more abstinence under my belt!

    thank you for your kind words. i’m happy that my website somehow helps you. please don’t hesitate to drop me a line if you ever need to vent or ‘talk.’

    [Reply]

  4. Nicole
    23 March 2010, 9:17 am

    Wow 23 months binge free is great! Congrats. But what do you consider a binge for yourself? A binge to one person can be eating 4 cookies but for another it can be eating everything in sight for an hour or two. I’m trying to kick this habit and be binge free too…but I just was wondering what your parameters were? Does over eating count in your book?

    [Reply]

    love2eatinpa Reply:

    thank you, nicole!
    a binge, as you are saying, is a very personal thing. for some people it means not eating entire food groups. i don’t believe in deprivation though. for me, staying binge-free entails two things: first is that if i do overeat a little bit, it does not go on to become an eat-everything-that-is-not-nailed- down kind of thing. it happens with one food and it’s done, it doesn’t continue. two, it means staying within a certain calorie range.
    does that help at all?

    [Reply]

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